Waxwork II: Lost in Time (1992) Starring Zach Galligan, Monika Schnarre & Bruce Campbell Directed by Anthony Hickox Written by Anthony Hickox

Let me start off by saying that I don't mind sequels, not at all. If something is good the first time around then why not continue it? If you have a decent script and fresh ideas to add to a story then by all means, sequel away!

Back in 1988 Anthony Hickox had respectable success with WAXWORK. David Warner played a crazy wax museum owner with plans to kill a group of teenagers who he invites to a special midnight showing at his museum. Now, I enjoyed WAXWORK, even if they tried to pass off Michelle Johnson (The sex kitten from BLAME IT ON RIO) and Zach Galligan (GREMLINS) as high school students. I mean if I'm willing to let PORKY'S slide, home of the high school with students sporting receding hairlines and crows feet, I could surely do it with this movie. Anyway, it was a decent flick and like with most of these movies, the ending of WAXWORK left it open for a sequel.

In 1992, 4 years after the original movie, we were treated to WAXWORK 2: BACK IN TIME. Unfortunately this is one sequel that will have you wishing YOU could find a passage way into the future to be able to beg and plead with a well-meaning Hickox that some stories are better left untold. The story leaves right where the first left off, with the wax museum on fire and the creeping hand popping up. Mark (Zach Galligan reprising his role) and Sarah (Barely lucid 80's model Monika Schnarre taking over for VALLEY GIRL'S Deborah Foreman, who mostly likely lit the script on fire after reading it) have survived the carnage but their friends China and Tony (The above mentioned Michelle Johnson and Dana Ashbrook respectively) weren't so lucky.

Mark and Sarah run from the museum and catch a cab where Mark decides that it would be a good idea for Sarah to go home and "get some sleep" and in the morning they will figure out what to do. Right, because we all know there is nothing like the tragic deaths of two friends to help lull you into a peaceful sleep. Admirable plan but the creeping hand has followed Sarah home and winds up killing her stepfather. Soon there is a trial and it doesn't look good for our Sarah. It seems the jury is not completely buying the whole "the creeping hand did it" defense. Afterwards Sarah is somehow able to take off with Mark to find some evidence to help her. I guess the judicial system there has a lenient "good faith" policy that allows those with first-degree murder raps to take off at their leisure in order to attempt to prove themselves innocent.

With some help from the Alice in Wonderland story "Through the Looking Glass" and Sir Wilfred (Patrick Macnee) they are able to go back in time (Hey, that's in the title!) and zoom through different places in the past. While doing this Mark and Sarah briefly become separated and that's when the unthinkable happens, you realize they are even more boring apart then when they are together! Mark meets up with her again though at the residence of Dr. Frankenstein (Martin Kemp, one of the creepy brothers from the 80's super group Spandau Ballet) but things don't seem to be going well due to a hungry monster and Sarah seeming to be totally under the impression she actually lives there. They are able to make it out of that time period intact but unfortunately for them, and the viewer, Frankenstein's lair is only the first stop on the Sominex express.

Needless to say they continue to be sucked through different moments in time for what seems like hours and one scene is just as unwatchable as the next. In one segment Mark and Sarah get separated yet again and Mark finds himself in a haunted house with Bruce Campbell, (one of many cameos, including a young Drew Barrymore and a ridiculous David Carradine) who tries his best to infuse the movie with some much needed energy and comic relief."I think we're in trouble here!", he exclaims in one scene. Oh Uncle Brucie, truer words were never spoken. Meanwhile, Sarah is in an ALIEN-inspired moment-in-time complete with a space monster in a really bad costume and English actor Maxwell Caulfield (GREASE 2) struggling with a New Yawk accent. Eventually our dopey heroes meet up yet again during a stop in medieval times that goes on for so long it almost becomes its own movie. Oh great! A shitty movie WITHIN a shitty movie! Alexander Godunov (The blonde baddie in DIE HARD) plays an evil king with Michael Des Barres (Robert Palmer's replacement in the 80's group Power Station) as his henchmen who likes to feed grapes seductively to young boys. No, I'm not kidding. Des Barres' performance actually makes the film a tad watchable. It is played, as Richard Dreyfuss' character in THE GOODBYE GIRL would have said, like a fresh double-order of California fruit salad.

Do they find a way out or are they stuck forever in a time warp? Are you honestly going to tell me you give a shit? Now I know a lot of this movie is to be taken as silly tongue-in-cheek fare and I can appreciate that, but there is a difference between silly and just plain stupid. I think what pisses me off most about this movie is the wasted potential. The premise was there. The ability to go from one place to another, the possibilities were endless but instead the end result is a massive mess void of any entertaining creativity.

What is more surprising though is that Anthony Hickox put his name on it. I would have put an Alan Smithee on this so fast it would have made the studio's head spin. Also, if I may let my horn-dog side come out for a moment, Would it have killed them to throw in a few pairs of boobs? Boobs make everything better, they really do. As for gore, flashes of cartoon-type violence are there but the movie quickly goes back to being an experiment in boredom. If all of this wasn't bad enough WAXWORK 2 does something else I can't stand, it shows a 'blooper reel' during the end credits, set to a DJ Jazzy Jeff and Fresh Prince-style song no less! To me, it is always sad when a movie's outtakes are more entertaining than the movie itself.

So, if you are into movies that feel as if they are 6 hours long with bad acting and a movie that ends up resulting in one big disappointing mess then by all means seek out WAXWORK 2: BACK IN TIME, you won't be disappointed.