Deep Blue Sea (1999)
Starring Saffron Burrows, Tom Jane, LL Cool J & Samuel L Jackson
Directed by Renny Harlin
Written by Duncan Kennedy, Donna Powers & Wayne Powers

 

BIGGER, SMARTER, FASTER, MEANER, declared the poster. “Wouldn’t be so sure about the smarter part,” replied the audience. But all glib sarcasm aside, there’s such a joyful spirit at play amidst the absurdity of Deep Blue Sea, you’d have to be a real misery guts not to get caught up in it just a little. It might have cost $60 million to make, but at heart it’s a low rent B-movie through and through, and it fits the bill on so many levels. Just what might some of these levels of B-movie excellence be, I hear you ask? Well, replies my placated ego, I’m glad you asked. I shall elaborate.

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS.

1) A rational explanation for all the batshit insane goings-on

This is a staple of all great monster movies; experts on hand to explain what’s going on, like how The Creature from the Black Lagoon is a missing link between man and fish, and how Godzilla was awakened and enraged by atomic radiation. In Deep Blue Sea, we have this splendiferous exposition dialogue from super scientist Saffron Burrows (in lines custom designed to go in the trailer): “we used gene therapy to increase their brain mass. As a side effect the sharks got smarter.” FUCKING GENIUS. And the greatness of these explanations: they legitimise the insanity, the destruction, the awesomeness. Why is the lab out at sea? Proximity to the sharks they are studying but also from a story perspective so the crew will be alone and have to fend for themselves when the shit hits the fan. A massive storm in the middle of the ocean is a credible enough scenario adding credibility to the station getting flooded, and allowing the brilliantly ridiculous idea of sharks invading human territory: corridors, kitchens, bedrooms. And for the writers to come up with a scenario where, in order to survive, the leading lady has no option but to take off her wetsuit... again, FUCKING GENIUS.

2) An ensemble cast straight from the B-list

Just the right balance of people you recognise, and people you haven’t seen before or since. Sam the Man, whose presence almost always screams B-movie (and who can forget the gloriously manipulative way his character is used, convincing you there’s a very different film coming); Stellan Skarsgard, a long-standing, comfortable resident of Supporting Actor Land; Tom Jane, a man perpetually one hit film away from megastardom; LL Cool J, the go-to guy when producers want to appeal to the young folk, because as we all know the young folk love that hip-hop; Michael Rappaport, Richie from True Romance; Jacqueline McKenzie, who I vaguely recall being in the BBC adaptation of Ben Elton’s eco sci-fi novel Stark, but otherwise I’m pretty confident I’ve never seen elsewhere; Aida Turturro, who played Tony Soprano’s sister; and most bizarrely an uncredited Ronny Cox, who pops up in an early scene, doesn’t speak a word, and is never seen again! (Scenes on the cutting room floor, maybe...?) But of course, we cannot neglect to give special mention to Saffron Burrows, the woman who made the test audiences despise her so intensely - reportedly inspiring cries of “die bitch die” that they reshot the ending, killing her off when she was originally a survivor. Truly her performance is a masterpiece in subpar acting, every line falling flat with her monotone delivery, every attempted nuance failing to convince. The only moment she is in any way endearing is if it really needs to be said when she takes her wetsuit off. In all seriousness, a great B-movie needs performances like this. If we weren’t shaking our heads in disbelief, pondering if the performer is aware of how bad a job they’re doing, then it wouldn’t be half as much fun. (See also Jason Statham in The One either the worst attempt at an American accent I’ve ever seen, or knowing comedic perfection; I’m still not sure which.)

3) Fucking awesome monsters

The magnificent concept of super-powered intelligent sharks is one thing; that the movie brings them to life the way it does makes it all the sweeter. All kidding aside, Deep Blue Sea really does show us how movie monsters should be done; not 100% CG as so many foolishly do these days, but Jurassic Park style, through a combination of CG, animatronics, miniatures, and where possible actual creature footage. (Well, admittedly Jurassic Park may have had minor issues with that last one.) The end result is, you can’t always see the join, and at points it’s hard to guess which technique was used in which shot. No, it’s not completely seamless - there’s no question that the shark that wolfs down Michael Rapport is digital, for example but tell me the shark that takes a big bite out of Stellan Skarsgard doesn’t look like the real thing.

4) Film geek in-jokes

This, of course, is a big one for any movie seeking cult status. We geeks are a proud breed, after all, and relish nothing more than the superiority complex we get when taking in a little detail that the ‘casual’ viewer most likely misses, the key one here being that the methods of shark death fire, electrocution and blowing the motherfucker to teeny tiny pieces are the same as those utilised in the first three Jaws movies. (Presumably if there had been a fourth shark it would either have been impaled on a ship’s mast, or beaten into submission by the overwhelming shittiness of the film it found itself trapped in.) On top of that, we even have Renny Harlin giving us a little directorial signature moment, with Tom Jane hanging upside down, staring helplessly as a female friend falls to her doom directly recalling (almost shot for shot) the opening scene from Harlin’s previous career highlight, Cliffhanger.

5) End credits song by one of the actors.

We don’t get nearly enough of these anymore. (I blame Will Smith going serious come on, don’t tell me Seven Pounds wouldn’t have benefitted from an old Fresh Prince tune.) But hey, LL truly outdoes himself here, perfectly encapsulating the spirit of the movie: all teeth, metal and saltwater. Let us take a look at the lyrics (and in so doing, shamelessly rip off an Edgar Wright blog from while back, on Queen’s song Princes of the Universe):

Uh, my hat is like a shark's fin
[1] - Deepest, bluest, my hat is like a shark's fin [Repeat 1 (5x)]

(Now is that an intro or as that an intro? But wait, LL’s not even warmed up yet -)

Manmade terror, hungry jaws of death
Y'all don't cross my depths, I'll pause your breaths
I cause you to sink down forty thousand leagues
Bleeding to death with no arms and short sleeves
My world's deep blue, killers gotta eat too
Looking for human flesh to rip my teeth through
Other fish in the sea but Barracudas ain't equal
To a half human predator created by a needle

(Wha, does this movie feature half man half shark creatures? Well, no it doesn’t, but it’d be even fucking cooler if it did, wouldn’t it? Oops forgive the interruption LL, please continue.)

Jet black eyes baby they stare while you sleep
When your Titanic sinks I'm the one you gon' meet
Hearing terrified screams they surround my team
All you see is trails of blood, even God won't intervene
Nightmares of darkness, my appetite is heartless
Even if we related, you eliminated regardless
In the deep blue, underwater walls
Half man, half shark, my jaws don't fall

(Yeah, he said Jaws! Twice, if you were paying attention! Direct reference to the film’s key influence, and that’s a good thing; we should acknowledge our influences. It’s not only the honest and noble action but it also creates a sense of direct cultural lineage; we can but hope that sometime soon another great shark film will pick up the baton, following in the wake of Jaws and Deep Blue Sea. Note also the nod to Titanic, appropriate not only to the aquatic setting but also the fact that Deep Blue Sea was shot in the very same water-oriented soundstage that was built specifically for Titanic. And, let’s not beat around the bush, Deep Blue Sea put it to far better use, didn’t it? But wait, oh no, LL’s got more to say.)

[Repeat 1 (8x)]
Our Father who art in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy name

(This, I hasten to add, is in character LL plays the staunchly Christian cook, known as Preacher.)

Killers sworn to beast, swallowed them in flames
They switched my DNA, trip me into Cool J
I can't fight the feeling, I'm born to kill prey
To survive an attack there's only one way
Battle to the death, that's how sharks play
Weapons left behind, we duelling with the mind
You blind, crippled, or crazy, you're real easy to find
Struggling to flow with haemorrhages in your throat
Getting the lap dance while I smash through your boat

(Now that’s how cold-blooded a shark he is! Killing you mid-lap dance! Striking when you are at your most distracted and vulnerable, and not even giving you leeway to get a happy ending. Because that’s the kind of wilful beast he is, preying on corrupt, soft-minded humanity...)

Okay, we could go on but I think you get the gist.

Holy shit, I’m almost at 2,000 words and still barely feel like I’ve scratched the surface on the filmic pleasures of Deep Blue Sea. I haven’t even touched on the whole neoconservative science versus God subtext, or the delightful echoes of John Carpenter electonica in the score, or my theory that the death of LL’s parrot is Renny Harlin’s way of getting revenge on the rabbit he was forced to let live in Cliffhanger (another instance of test audience complaints prompting a change they were sad when a wittle bunny wabbit got shot). But I guess I’ve taken enough of your time for now. So to wrap this badboy up, let me just say that Deep Blue Sea is easily the best thing Renny Harlin has ever made, and the kind of movie we just haven’t seen enough of this past decade. But with Alexandre Aja’s Piranha 3-D swimming our way this August, we can certainly expect some similar water-based funhouse action in the not too distant future; and with this new wave of 3-D looking to be here to stay, I think (or hope at least) that monster movies of this ilk will shortly get the comeback that they, and we, have long been roaring for.