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Hanger (2009)
Starring Debbie Rochon, Dan Ellis, Nathan
Dashwood & Ronald Patrick Thompson
Written by Ryan Nicholson & Patrick Coble
Directed by Ryan Nicholson
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I am beginning to regret taking on this task. Maybe that means I am doing my job right.
Hanger is a hateful, racist movie. Unfortunately, that hardly disqualifies it for consideration as The Sickest Fucking Film Ever.
I didn't really enjoy watching Hanger, like I enjoyed previous entries in this series, such as Pink Flamingos, Taxidermia, or even Bloodsucking Freaks. I didn't hate Hanger. But sitting through the seemed-like-a-whole-longer-than-90 minutes of this movie was work.
Hanger tells the delightful tale of a young kid who was ripped from his prostitute mommy's tummy with a coat hanger by his mommy's pimp Leroy. (Yes, he's black, he's a pimp, and his name is Leroy.) Leroy tosses Hanger into a dumpster, where he's saved from being eaten by rats by a homeless guy who looks like Donal Logue after his face has been set on fire. Poor Hanger is not much to look at because the coat hanger did a number on his face. He has horrible monster fangs, too, but there's no explanation offered for that.
Hanger's daddy is a prostitute loving truck driver, who loved his mommy, but not enough to actually save her from the hateful stereotype Leroy. ("Better give me my money, bitch!" Brilliant shit.) 18 years later, on his birthday, Daddy sets Hanger up with a job at a recycling center and an apartment with a "slant-eyed retard" named Russell. Oh, and he enlists Hanger in a plot to get revenge on Leroy for killing mommy. And being a great dad, he sets Hanger up with prostitute who apparently works in the junk yard. Sadly, Hanger freaks out and tears the nice lady apart.
There's more, but why bother. There's bloody tampon sucking, Dirty Sanchez wiping, close-up colostomy hole fucking, death by shit eating, and Lloyd Kaufman gets his dick burned off.
One of the things I really hated about this movie was the fact that the "slant-eyed retard" is played by white guy with a racist accent and really bad makeup that would have been embarrassing in a Charlie Chan movie from 1938. (Phone rings. "Herro?") If it was absolutely necessary to preserve the integrity of your movie by including a racist, stereotyped asian retard, why not hire an actual asian actor, or at least someone who could pass as asian. (Lou Diamond Phillips?) I'm guessing they asked a bunch of asian actors to audition for the role, but when they kept saying, "Can you sound more like Charlie from Mr. Magoo?" the actors told them to fuck off.
There are elements of this movie that are competent. The acting is pretty decent for a movie at this level. The director, Ryan Nicholson, is a makeup FX guy, so the effects are mostly pretty good (other than that wretched "asian retard.") There are a few points, however, where the lighting is so bad you can't tell what's going on. ("Is he eating her tits or is that an elbow?") This was Nicholson's sixth job as director, so obviously, he was paying attention to his previous mistakes. Maybe someday he can find someone who can write a decent screenplay and he might actually make something more watchable.
So, yeah, Hanger makes the final cut to the finals. It is a Sick Fucking Film. I did flinch a few times. Yea. Winner.
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patrick