Die-ner (Get It?) (2010) Starring Joshua Grote, Parker Quinn & Liesel Kopp Written & Directed by Patrick Horvath

In a number of ways, a diner shares many of the same traits as that of a low-budget independent horror film. In an all-American eatery such as a diner, things can be a tad rough around the edges. The coffee cups will often have a dark brown tint to them; the red pleather bench seats are riddled with rips and tears and, just underneath, you'll find a nice layer of warm bubble gum; a trucker is outback getting a bowjob from a toothless, meth addicted hooker (my favorite kind of hooker, mind you); and of course there's always at least one sticky spot on the table, which just so happens to be exactly where you placed your forearm when you first sat down. Hopefully that's syrup and not something left behind by one of the hooker's previous clients.

Something else shared by both an indie horror flick and a diner is the surprise of what sometimes can be delivered to the viewer/customer. I've had some truly incredible meals at diners throughout my life just as I've seen more than my fair share of wonderful independent horror films. Much like a diner and a good deal of micro budgeted horror movies, Die-ner (get it?) is very rough around the edges, and while the meal itself was decent for the price, it isn't quite as satisfying as it could be.

So I guess this whole lame attempt at an analogy was kind of pointless then. My bad.

Die-ner (get it?) is not exactly what one would expect from a movie that has a pun for a title, let alone a film where a pun is used then followed by "(get it?)." In fact, it's slightly misleading, as most people would expect an over-the-top horror comedy when walking into such a ridiculously titled film. That thought is almost immediately shot down in the first ten minutes, though, when the viewer is introduced to a waitress as she is spilling her guts out to an unseen male customer.

As the waitress (Maria Olsen) goes on and on explaining the sad events that led her to working at a diner in the middle of nowhere, the only reaction from the customer is verbal. He is never seen, only heard and it isn't until his well thought-out manipulation has brought her to such a venerable place that he actually shows his true colors. You can see it in her eyes as they light up in fear, knowing that this emotional moment of honesty she just unleashed is about to end, along with her life, as the man she just entrusted with her harrowing personal story gets up and stabs her to death before throwing a knife into a fleeing cook's back.

I really appreciated this opening for being completely unexpected and surprisingly well staged. It was also nice to see such character depth (from the waitress) that's not only played off believably, it's well executed by the actress in what is a fairly heavy monologue. Right off the bat this scene gives you a much clearer idea that this film, despite its ridiculous title, isn't going to be what you expect. However, despite being vastly different tonally than one would think, Die-ner still has a comedic essence at times, and that would truly come from the situation in which the viewer is presented.

You see, the before mentioned serial killer, Ken (Joshua Grote), has been on the road, slicing and dicing anyone he runs into until he finally lands himself at this shitty diner in the middle of nowhere. After Ken murders the waitress and cook, he hides their bodies in the walk-in cooler; this is when some new customers arrive, a bickering couple that aren't exactly having the best of days. If they only knew.

Being the sly devil that he is, Ken pretends to be a new employee and waits for his chance to pounce on the unsuspecting couple, but just as he is about to do it, the sheriff conveniently comes-a-walkin' in. Ken does his best to bullshit the dumb witted sheriff, hoping to keep him from figuring out that something is wrong. Nevertheless, Ken's cover is blown when both the cook and the waitress come stumbling out of the walk-in with one of them taking a huge bite out of the sheriff's neck, and from there, all hell breaks loose. Well, kind of.

So there you have it - a serial killer film that turns into a zombie film, which sounds vastly more outrageous in theory than it actually is.

A low-budget zombie film with a title like Die-ner (get it?) most certainly sounds like it's going to be a crazy zombie bloodbath, but the zombie aspect in this film plays second, well, third fiddle to both the crazed Ken and the dynamic between himself and the bickering couple, Kathy and Rob (Liesel Kopp and Parker Quinn), both of whom he is now holding hostage. Ken is really the shining light in this otherwise moderately boring film. He's a well-written character, and Grote - who could easily be a double for Edward Norton his whole being is so similar - puts forth a psychotically entertaining performance. He's truly the highlight of the movie.

Overall there are a surprising amount of good performances, and the direction is passable for the most part, but Die-ner is a tad bland and lacks the right flavor needed to be well remembered. I appreciate what writer/director, Patrick Horvath, did with this film as the seriousness of certain situations and the welcomed character development were a nice change of pace, but there was something left off the plate with this one.

There's some darkly funny moments strewn throughout, but there's simply not enough there to satisfy. On the other hand, that small amount of humor is enough to keep the movie from being effective as a horror film. Ultimately, Die-ner is a very decent film for what it is, but there is nothing about it that begs for me to ever want to view it again, let alone think about it beyond this review. Still, even if the meal wasn't what I hoped for, I still feel that Horvath did just enough to impress me to a point where I would keep an eye out for any other films he might do down the line, so long as he keeps shit jokes like (get it?) out of his fucking. (rent it)