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Monster Dog (1984)
Starring Alice Cooper, Victoria Vera, Carlos
Santurio, María José Sarsa & Pepita James
Written & Directed by Claudio Fragasso
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Claudio Fragasso is known for many things, however, quality cinema has never been on his list of credentials. Now, while it would seem I should consider his lack of traditional filmmaking substance unfortunate, it clearly isn't an issue if you are an admirer of B-Movie cinema. And if you're reading this, you probably are. The entertainment the man has brought to screen - specifically with that certain little movie about goblins and the importance of hospitality - is note worthy for the cultural impact it has on the cult cinema fan and, to an extant, the film fan in general. So when I sit down to watch any film the man has been associated with, and there's been a few, I know it might not be up to a certain "normal" standard, but I also know that there is a great chance I may find something to enjoy in it.
In 1984, Fragasso wrote and directed Monster Dog, a werewolf film that follows Vincent Raven (Alice Cooper), a pop/rock star that has returned to his hometown so he can shoot his next big music video. While a homecoming may seem like a swell idea, it turns out that Vincent's family suffers from a painful past. One that involves his father being murdered by some locals after he was accused of being a murderous werewolf. And now, all of these years later, the murders have started again just as Vincent is making his return home. Coincidence? Maybe, but the details are a bit hairy at first.
As you may have noticed, when I mentioned the character of Vincent, I dropped a particular name that might have caught your attention. Or, maybe it didn't, but either way, a big draw to Monster Dog for some is the name Alice Cooper, the man who plays the big dog in Monster Dog, if you will. Vincent Raven, which may or may not be a nod to 1963's The Raven, is the biggest rock star in all the world. Well, at least he is according to his lady friend, Sandra (Victoria Vera). I might have to trust her on this one, especially considering that the only believable way a guy that looks like Vincent could ever land a piece of ass as fine as Sandra, would be if he was the biggest rock star in the world (or, had the biggest cock in the world). Sandra is a sight to behold, and one I wouldn't mind seeing on all fours, Monster Doggie style.
So anyways, back to Alice Cooper as Vincent. We are first introduced to the character through his video for Identity Crisis (which was actually written and performed by Cooper but had gone unreleased for many years), in which he is seen in a multitude of personalities from Sherlock Holmes, to Billy the Kid. It's actually a fun way to start the film off and a good way to introduce a character played by someone that is so closely associated with music. Things really begin to show promise for Monster Dog in the next scene where Vincent, Sandra and the film crew are driving to Vince's hometown to shoot the video. What is to follow is some of the best dubbing I have ever witnessed. And by best, I mean worst, but that really means best, if that makes any sense. Like, even the sound of a door that is repeatedly swinging open and closed is off by a good second.
Monster Dog is filled to the toilet lid with more than its fair share of shit pushing giggles outside of the atrocious dubbing. The Monster Dog itself (whom gets very little screen time) is only shown from the neck up and looks as if it was made of papier-mache, which could pose a problem, as papier-mache teeth are not practical for piercing human flesh. There is also this pack of bloodthirsty German Shepherds, which would be intimidating if not for the one random Black Russian Terrier mixed in. Shit just kills their street cred. Then there are the great outfits, the wonderful dialogue, more bad dubbing and the list goes on and on. Oh, speaking of bad outfits, Vincent wears this very un-rock and roll like sweater, which is fine, I suppose, but not when he wears it two days in a row. I mean, dude, you're a rock star. Buy another shirt, okay?
All right, I'm making this movie out to be this crazy terrible horror film, but to be fully honest, I think that despite its clear awfulness, Monster Dog is a very competent film. Well, more so than one would expect. As with many Italian cult movies of the era, the film was shot is Spain, so it has a nice location visually, specifically with the home in which Vincent grew up in. Fragasso uses his location decently with some nicely crafted atmosphere, though, much of that comes from the major smoke machine action used throughout, but it was still visually appealing, nonetheless. I also found a touch of surrealism I would never have expected, with a few moments where the line between reality and the dream world isn't always clear. I think the best way to describe it is it has the feel of a Fulci film in many ways, just not nearly as competent. This thought is only further proven when the film takes an awesome Spaghetti Western turn for its ending, complete with a couple Fulci-esque kills that are sure to cause a panic of happiness for any fan of Italian cult cinema.
As I had fully expected to watch a complete shit storm, I got a film that is, at times, very much what one would expect from Fragasso. However, I found there was a lot that I actually enjoyed in Monster Dog on a serious level, and I can look at it as a film that had I seen it as a kid, I would have loved it, and it most definitely would have scared the hell out of me. Some films are just bad, and that's okay so long as they bring some joy to may day, but with Monster Dog, I found it a little harder to completely dismiss it as more than a movie to point and laugh at. Nevertheless, I did do a lot of pointing.
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matthew